Alchemical Ink
An Erotic Kinetic NovelStory & Graphics by Morgan Hawke.
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A tattoo artist that just happens to also be an Alchemist gets a last minute customer.
The Alchemist was getting ready to close his tattoo shop when the bells on his door chimed. He turned and there she was, a shattered angel.
She stood paused, frozen in his doorway, neither in nor out, motionless on the threshold, undecided. The setting sun bled over the rooftops from across the street, staining her hair and cheek with the illusion of mortal wounds. The empty hunger in the crushed blue of her eyes screamed of lethal injuries hemorrhaging but invisible on the surface of her skin. Her mane was a lank yellow and her dead-pale skin stretched tight over the finely carved cheekbones of her face. Her features betrayed a story of physical exquisiteness, brutalized to a mere shadow of their original loveliness...
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Game Play: This is a kinetic novel. A story with music, sounds and pictures.
Content Warning: Ages 18+!!! for explicit text and soft-core images.
Best viewed at 1024x768
Features:
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Music room
Image Gallery
Music Selections by:
Alexandr Bulgarov and Zero Project
Provided by Jamendo.com
254 screens of dialogue.
6,922 words.
An average of 27.3 words per screen.
0 menus.
93 MB
Downloads available at MediaFire:
WinZip ~ Mac ~ Linux
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Made Free. Distributed Free. Fly be free...!
Warning!
-- AVG virus protection and Ad-Aware tend to think this is virus. It's NOT! (I did all the coding myself, and I don't have the first clue on how to make one.)
The Angel
The Alchemist
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Once upon a time at a tattoo parlor...
The last minute customer...
Bonus page
Jukebox
Gallery
Preferences
If you play it, I'd be very interested in your opinions!
I found this while digging through the Ren'Ai archives and thought to leave some constructive feedback.
ReplyDeleteI love the story, the plot. I've always been into fantasy, especially the realm of Alchemy (which is what drew me to play the game). I found the graphics pleasing and the music was very well suited to the game's atmosphere. There were times when I felt like things were being revealed too fast and all at once, such as Angel's past and the things that happened to her. I feel you could have elaborated a bit more there (as well as with the Alchemist's own past).
You opened a lot of questions that needed answering, but you didn't address them all. I feel you could have left out mentioning the Alchemist's past altogether because you didn't go on to elaborate. (How can he relate to Angel's conditions? How the hell did he become homeless with that hulking magical suitcase in his possession? Or did he stumble upon it at a later date? And how? Where did he learn to use it?) When you opened that can of worms (by having the Alchemist mention how he "had been there" in Angel's condition), you left a huge gap in the story that cannot be filled by the reader. By mentioning that he had been once as helpless as the one he is trying to help, you created a sort of disillusionment for the character; like, oh - so he wasn't magical before? Just some writing feedback; I believe it would have been alright to leave him as you made him - this being with alchemical powers. No need to reveal other details! (Less is more!)
Otherwise, your writing style is terrific. Again, I have to mention the pacing. When writing a short story, you should try to be conscious of how many details you reveal during each scene. I found only a couple of writing errors here and there, but all quite minor.
I was also a little disappointed at the lack of an epilogue! I was really anticipating it since I've learned to expect them from quite a number of other visual novels (usually a short one-scene thing). I know it's sort of implied that the Alchemist and Angel may get together at some point afterwards, but I think you should have given a little bit more of a nudge towards that direction (with an epilogue). I usually like open-ended stories, but only when they are ambiguous. I think in this case, it was a little bit vague. (I mean, what happens to Angel after? She goes back to school? Becomes a singer? Gets a new boyfriend? What about the Alchemist?)
Your writing - especially the sex scenes - is reminiscent of Amanda Quick. Have you read her, by any chance? (Though I must say, her works are very historical and Victorian-esque. Most of them constitutes a headstrong woman far more advanced than her era and, of course, the dashing knight. Just a fair warning! Though you learn to love them. I think you'll enjoy her; may I recommend starting with "Mystique"?)
But all in all, great work! I know how taxing it is to create a VN, so kudos to you. Nice, fluid writing style, good graphics (I saw what you did with that "Calvin Klein" bit...), and excellent soundtrack. Dare I suggest a sequel?
Keep writing, and keep improving! :)
You madam are a artist. I've been to busy to play any of your games(read lazy beyond all recognition), but ever since I saw your first Visual Novel, Morgan Hawke you were always at the top of my interest. I loved the way your visual novels looked. They are gorgeous. I was envious of your skill and proud that someone can take photo images and make them look so magnificent. Your games were always the ones I stores in the back of my mind to play above all others. I am glad I stopped being lazy and started playing
ReplyDeleteAlchemical Ink was the second book of yours that I played and I loved it. (I didn't know that it was an erotic game, but that's besides the book)
I love your writing style. I love your music choice, especially the first one with the woman singing in the background. I love how you make your book flip pages and your closet(or whatever it is) open and close.
I was delighted when I read your visual novel, and a tad bit embarrassed. I sooooooo did not know that it was an erotic novel. :)
I appreciate what you do and I appreciate how you do it. I would also appreciate it if you could make some tutorials for photo-manipulation, because what you do is fabulous.